A recent survey out of the U.K. shows that women—at least most women—have a pretty good grasp on the important relationships in their lives: Four out of five have a good bond with their partner, 81 percent say they have good or very good friendships, and 59 percent get along with their bosses. But two stats jumped out at us as cause for concern: One in 10 women reported that they don’t have a close friend, and a very lonely 3 percent reported having no friends at all.
Sure, it’s normal for friendships to come and go, especially as we get older and swept up in work, family matters, and personal issues. And these days, we probably all have many more casual acquaintances (think of all your Facebook “friends”) than true BFFs. But what kind of an effect can this have on a person’s health and wellbeing?
Judith Akin, M.D., a psychiatrist in the Faculty and Physician Wellness Program of Work/Life Connections at Vanderbilt University, says that when people can’t name a single close friend, it’s often because of an underlying emotional or social disorder, like anxiety or trust issues. It also puts them at risk for further health problems.
“Having at least a few close relationships is a part of a balanced life,” Akin says. “People who are socially isolated or lacking in social support are much more vulnerable to depression, self-medicating with alcohol, and emotional eating.” Studies also show that people with large circles of friends live longer than those without, and that strong social ties can reduce the risk of dementia later in life.
The nearly 6,000-person survey conducted by Relate (a British organization that provides relationship support and counseling) also found that having poor-quality or non-existent social connections is correlated to lower self esteem. Among people who described their friendships as good or very good, 87 percent said they felt good about themselves sometimes, often, or always. Among people in average or bad friendships, that number dropped to 63 percent; and among those who reported having no friends, 62 percent.
Although forming new friendships can be difficult, Akin says it’s important for people to try—especially if they’re feeling isolated after a move across the country, a falling-out with former pals, or another major life change that leaves them physically or emotionally alone.
“To have friends you have to be a good friend, so I always ask people what they are doing to try to cultivate relationships support,” she says. “You have to make a deliberate effort to spend time together—or, if you don’t live near each other, to call or write or visit.” (In fact, half of survey respondents reported having weekly contact with their close friends, and nearly a fifth reported daily contact.)
Nervous about making a new-friend date? Start with asking a colleague to grab lunch or check out a movie after work. “If you’re worried about not knowing what to say, these structured situations can help take the pressure off,” Akin says.
Common-interest groups are great ways to meet a variety of people who share your hobbies, as well, she says. In a way, men seem to do this better than women: The survey found that guys tend to be members of groups of close friends while women are more likely to form close connections with individuals.
And one final note for the ladies in relationships: It’s great if your partner is your best friend, says Akin, but it’s no excuse to let your other close ties don’t fall by the wayside. “Too much time spent with one person can potentially make you both bored,” she says. “You need to make a deliberate effort to get together regularly with other people in your life. Put a girls’ night on the calendar; don’t wait for someone else to do it.”
Don’t assume he is not in love with you. The one time you least expect, he will tell you “I love you.”
One of the greatest feelings a woman can ever have is a man’s true love. Though your boyfriend may take time telling you he is in love with you, chances are he already has through his actions. That’s what happened to me. I knew my husband was in love with me by the way he paid close attention to all my needs. He genuinely cared to hear about my good days and my bad days. Moreover, I didn’t have to ask him to do something for me. He just knew. He loved spending time with my family and me. And he said “I love you” first.
For the most part, women are quicker at expressing their emotions to their partners; meanwhile, men take a longer time. You may assume that your boyfriend is not in love with you because he has not verbally expressed his feelings or revealed the three words all women love to hear. But take a close look at his gestures, his mannerisms and how he looks at you. The love he has for you is in the tiniest details.
Here are seven ways you can tell the man you love is in love with you, too.
When your boyfriend starts to ask you in-depth questions about your likes, dislikes and future goals, he is in to you. He wants to learn everything about you. He sincerely cares.
He grabs your hand gently during a walk in the park or at a family gathering. He caresses your hair softly. He hugs you for no reason at all. He affectionately touches your face as he stares at you. Sometimes just sitting at home watching a movie and cuddling on the couch speaks volumes.
Spending time together
When you find your boyfriend spending less time with his friends and more time with you, he is in love. He is not giving up on his friends; he simply chooses to spend as much time with you as possible. His priorities begin to shift.
Does anything for you
He doesn’t care what it takes, but he will make anything possible for you. He may not necessarily be interested in the things you are interested in, but he makes the effort to take part. He doesn’t mock what brings you joy. Perhaps you love a particular musician, and he doesn’t. But he surprises you with two concert tickets – one for you and one for him.
Meeting his family and friends
As old-fashioned as this may sound, when a boyfriend introduces the woman in his life to his family and friends, he is serious. He has hopes to take the relationship to another level. His feelings are deeper than you know.
Talks about marriage and children
If your boyfriend inquires about your feelings on marriage and children and expresses his thoughts on the matter, chances are he’s been thinking about a future with you. And if you both share the same feelings about marriage and creating a beautiful family together, love exists.
Says those three special words first
He tells you “I love you” before you do. It doesn’t matter when or where he says it. All that matters is that he wants to say it first.
Again, it’s easier for a woman to share her innermost thoughts compare to most men. Many men have a hard time verbalizing their feelings even though they do love you. However, through their positive actions and attentive ways, you will know he is in love. Give him time and you’ll hear “I love you.”
Each day, we interact with others. We talk, email and text the day away, but are we really getting through to each other? When was the last time you felt really, truly heard? When did you give your attention to someone fully and completely without checking your phone or staring at the television? Some check out with technology, while others dominate conversations. Both are detrimental, but both can be remedied.
The importance of listening
When we listen to someone sincerely, we help them feel understood, validated and less alone in their suffering. Being fully present and listening without an agenda can uplift someone and permit them to share their feelings. Often, that’s all we need; someone to sit and let us air our grievances, concerns, or frustrations, so that we can move on.
We blather on to hairdressers, bartenders, baristas, and they hold the space as outsiders looking in, so that we may vent. Therapists are paid to sit there and our side of the story, but what about our daily communication with loved ones? What happens when the you-know-what hits the fan and you have a fight with your partner?
Leave judgement at the door
Therapists and counsellors note that the most important part of listening is being non-judgmental. If someone feels judged, they will instantly shut you out and resent you, causing further harm to the relationship. Distance comes from instances like this, so be careful to just let the other person be heard in a safe, judgment-free zone. Avoid statements such as “You always” and “You never.”
Sometimes, things cannot be fixed immediately, so allow a few hours of time apart and let things cool down. When you keep picking at a wound or a scab, it can’t heal. The same thing applies to disagreements and conflicts; even though you think it’s a good idea to keep talking, the best thing can be to calmly stop talking and give each other a little space. When you sit quietly, you’re able to process what the other person voiced so that you can help solve the issues—not create more.
Stay present and watch your body language
Some of us check out with phones, laptops or television when things get heated or intense. The simple act of making eye contact really makes a huge difference in how we all feel when we need someone’s full attention. Please put your phone down, turn it off and make yourself 100% available when a loved one needs to talk. Don’t make someone feel diminished or unimportant by clicking the remote control when they say they need to talk to you.
Wait until they communicate that they’re done before grabbing that phone to see what you missed on social media, and try not to fidget. We say a lot with our body language, so show some empathy and presence with your entire body. It’s incredibly rude to text someone while a person in the room needs your attention, so cut it out.
Silence is golden
This one is particularly challenging for me. I get excited and jump in before the other person has time to complete their thought or argument, and I botch it all the time—I can only imagine how infuriating it must be. As a yoga instructor, this is embarrassing to share, but at least I’m honest.
Most people think that just because I teach yoga, I’m perfectly conditioned to remain in a meditative, balanced state at all times. Not so much, I’m afraid. I get anxious and angry, but do try to maintain the daily work via yoga, meditation, and reading Buddhist and other spiritual texts. My new goal is to really hold my tongue until the person with whom I’m interacting is done with their statement. Give the other person time to get their thoughts out, stop interrupting, and let people finish their thoughts. You’ll get your turn to speak, but create a safe and present energy so that there’ll be room for your own thoughts later on.
Listen to the entire conversation
Really, in the end, most of us just want to be heard, even if we have a strong hunch that we’re wrong. It sounds like the simplest, easiest thing on earth, but try to listen to the whole story and let the other party talk. My issue is that I’m already building my case or argument while the other person is trying to get theirs out, and it’s always doomed from that point on.
Work on being patient, commit to breathing deeply when someone is trying to tell you something, and just hold the space for them. Be sure to let people tell their whole story and get it all out there—even if it’s unpleasant or directed at you. Healing can only come from letting each other feel safe and loved.
In the end, my Buddhist teachers say that life is suffering and it’s our duty to lessen the suffering of those with whom we interact. I don’t wake up in the morning saying “I’m going to be a terrible listener today” but still, it happens. All we can do is commit to lessening our loved one’s suffering, become better listeners and increase our compassion as we go about our lives.
Think of the most valuable people in your life: what makes them so special? Meaningful relationships, both with family and friends, make life purposeful—especially amidst difficult trials. However, there are some people who may appear to be friendly but in fact are negative influences in your life. It’s important to keep in mind that you deserve to be in relationships where you are valued for who you are, and where the other person treats you in a way that you would want to treat others. As relationships require mutual effort and dedication, here
are 12 characteristics to look for in a good friend (along with tips that will help you showcase these characteristics to your friends).
A good friend will stay in touch with you in the long-term, even if you don’t get to talk to them every day. Good friends will be able to pick up where they left off, without seeing each other for years! Whether it’s through texts, handwritten letters or phone calls, communication over a long period of time is a key signal that someone truly cares about you and the relationship. With the holidays coming up, sending a holiday card or wishing someone well is a simple yet impactful gesture that demonstrates thoughtfulness.
In addition to staying connected, a good friend will check up on you to stay informed on what’s happening in your life. Whether your latest news is inconsequential (like trying a new recipe) or more significant (like grieving the death of a loved one), a friend who checks up on you is one who is compassionate and genuinely interested.
While we all like it when others agree with us, but it’s necessary to have people who can provide open, honest feedback—both positive and negative. The key is that a true friend can present their criticism in a constructive way.
Similarly, a good friend is able to respectfully disagree with your views. The emergence of different perspectives does not automatically signify the end of a relationship—sometimes, it can actually strengthen your relationship while enhancing your understanding of an opposing perspective. A good friend will also demonstrate respect by appreciating you for who you are, treating you with dignity and not taking advantage of you.
Not only should you be able to confide in a friend and know that your secret will be kept, but you should also be able to trust that your friend is loyal and reliable. A friendship that experiences endless rollercoasters of breakups and fights may not be one that offers loyalty and consistency.
6. Enthusiasm and support
It’s important to have relationships with people who will provide you with support in both the good and the bad times. Friends who make the extra effort to cheer you on at your soccer game or reach out to you when you’re in distress show that they prioritize you and are available to help.
7. A certain degree of competitiveness
Competition among friends is natural, but true friends will not allow competition to tear their relationship apart. Friendly competition can actually inspire you to have the motivation to improve, and is not cutthroat or dividing.
A good listener is someone who really values what you have to say and pays attention to your words. If there is someone who remembered a small detail or fact that you mention, they could possibly be a good friend. Meanwhile, being attentive and truly listening to what your friends say can also demonstrate that you prioritize and value them as well.
As well as having a grateful heart, a good friend also expresses gratitude, whether it’s for a favor that you did or simply for the friendship you provide. It’s also important to show your gratitude for the people in your lives; while it’s easy to feel grateful, the failure to outwardly express gratitude may actually come off as ingratitude in the eyes of others.
Someone who encourages you to be a better person (either verbally or non-verbally) is a powerful, positive influence in your life. A friend should not judge and shame you into changing; rather, if you chance because of a friend, it should be because their actions or personality traits inspire you to follow their example.
A good friend will not make you feel insecure or want you to change for no good reason. Instead, the type of friend who is worth having will boost your self-esteem by valuing your identity and unique qualities.
Finally, remember that a good friend is worthy of your time—you should cherish the memories, interactions, and conversations you have together.
Oh, how natural it seems when women and girls are so damn mean to each other. Seemingly more mean, underhanded and brutal than men are to one another. More deliberate. Yet often more unconsciously, horribly, mean.
Of course this is a sweeping generalization. There are a lot of good people in the world. Good women, if you will. And there are certainly men out there who can rival the biggest drama queen you’ve ever seen. But that’s not the point.
The point, actually, is that in general, modern women do not possess the solidarity you might hope for or even expect in a world that is supposedly heading toward gender equality.
Without question, the notion of woman vs. woman is not particularly new. Many often laugh it off, deferring to our curiously ‘natural’ state of being. As if it is in our DNA to compete with one another. We are known to do it for men, friends, jobs, attention, recognition and self worth. Things you can actually win and things you can never win. The tangibles and the intangibles. We’ll launch silent daggers over petty issues such as clothing, mimicry and appearance faux pas — all fodder for cannon balls of hatred for fellow females to fire. We even squabble over the things that are entirely nebulous, the ideas in the back of our minds that are more like phantoms than actual live gains. Not many question it. We make fun of it, acknowledge it, disparage upon it, but we don’t really ask ourselves why and how we got here. How did we get this bad?
That’s just how women are … Supposedly.
Well, that might be true, but only as true as the belief that ‘boys will be boys.’ But really, truly, boys will be boys and girls will be girls in the context of certain power relations and social structures.
Call it natural if you like, but it can be changed.
Now before you start planning your rebuttal to this notion, I didn’t say that this was going to be easy. And I’m not necessarily talking about a widespread campaign of ‘awareness’ so that we can initiate the healing process one-by-one in our own psyches. Well, in a way I am, but in another way, I’m not. Based on my research in academia and general observations, I find this to be a more simple problem than we think — albeit one with widespread and complicated ripple effects on society as a whole.
Think about this: What is the only problem that seems to persist in spite of women’s economic advancement, educational progress, sexual freedom, access to technological innovation and relative (though increasingly tenuous) reproductive rights? What is it about our worth as individuals that inspires our insecure animosity?
It is kind of miraculous if you really think about it. Unbelievably, this very real issue can not only interfere with how we feel about ourselves, it can also affect how others feel about us, thereby influencing how we live our lives!
It is so silly, so obnoxious, so superficial, but painfully true.
Alas, it is all about beauty and body image. Or more specifically, beauty in the context of our persistent inequality to men, and our disproportionate body commodification that ironically feeds the fire between us and our sisters.
Yes, oh yes, in spite of how far we’ve come, our looks are still up there on the checklist of our success as women. It is on our checklist in an arbitrary omnipresent way that we did not necessarily invite. Perhaps we once made it a priority. Perhaps others made it a priority and we correspondingly internalized it by default. We might even occasionally boycott it, hoping to escape this particular paradigm of self worth and success. But either way, whether we imposed it upon ourselves or someone else did, it’s there now and has been for a long while. I would love to cite a ton of sources here to underline this concept, but that would make this article two million pages long.
The truth is that we know it. We see it, live it, breathe it, watch TV about it, read about it. We see how Hilary Clinton, Sarah Palin, Michelle Obama and others are irrelevantly defined by it in the political sphere when there is hardly a media whisper of George W. Bush’s, Bill Clinton’s or Mitt Romney’s appearance. Every once in a while we might hear about Barack Obama’s ears, but that’s about it. Looks do not define men like they still define women, even in the most serious platforms in the world. This is a beautiful but ugly remnant of a time when women were the trophies and property of men, when our entire worth was once based on appearance, pedigree, purity and child-bearing ability.
Now let me explain why this lame vestigial problem is creating the massive divide and how serious the implications are.
As a disclaimer, this is not to say that we cannot or should not take care of ourselves, that we cannot or should not care about fashion, beauty, fitness, glamour or sexual appeal. All of these interests are fun and worthwhile. We should be free to indulge and revel in them. So should men. We should be able to honor all beauty in all forms whenever possible. It gives life extra spice and flavor. When we can appreciate the range of beauty wholeheartedly and appropriately, it has the power to enhance our spiritual experience.
Nevertheless, when the notion of ‘hotness’ or ‘not-enough-hotness’ breathes its muggy breath into our ability to get a job, keep a job, get along with people on the job, be liked, be unliked, be taken seriously or not-taken-seriously, there’s a problem.
Think of looks as a resource. Just like education and money and charm. A resource to get what you want. A commodity, if you will. We are living in a capitalist society, after all.
Right about now, some people might want to chime in and blame capitalism for this problem, this commodity-possession-ownership-hierarchy-resource-consumption problem, akin to all other problems in the world. And they might be right. But for now let’s keep it simple. Looks are resources. Resources that are inherent and cultivated alike.
Now fathom this: In a culture where patriarchy is still alive, endearingly belting out delusions of grandeur, thrusting a withered cane into the air from its convalescent bed, dinging the bell for the nurse, at least one crippled mythology has remained — the story that women are not fully worthwhile unless they are amazing at everything AND beautiful in the eyes of others. For some, external beauty in the eyes of others and oneself is success in and of itself.
Regrettably, this fact alone has helped turn women against one another, a trend that started centuries, if not millennia ago. Poignantly, this is the one major factor that still determines our well-being in the public eye whether a woman is gay, straight, bi, white, black, brown, etc., a veritable competition whose competitors are by default only women in a world still ruled by men.
So when an attractive woman strolls around your workplace, if she is prettier in your eyes than you are — or in someone else’s eyes — she might inspire your jealousy. And if you’re that kind of woman, even if only for the day, you might treat her differently. She might as well be parading a better resume in front of you. Look at me, I can get a better man, a better job, a better wardrobe… a better life.
In a world of squirrels, she might as well have been the squirrel who collected more nuts than you. You might even try to steal her nuts. Or tell the other squirrels how she came about those nuts in a suspicious way. Either way, this squirrel is perceived to have more resources than you, even if some of those nuts are spoiled. Then again, how would you know what kind of nuts she has? All you can see is her pile of nuts. And that’s all that matters. Perhaps you should take notes from this fabulous squirrel, maybe even do laps around the tree to get that squirrel’s thighs. Perhaps you should kill the fabulous squirrel. You just don’t know what to do!
Now imagine that you are the beautiful squirrel with the pile of nuts. Now you’re getting a little anxious. Now you feel like you should give some away to diminish the danger or perhaps alternatively guard your nuts more fiercely. You just don’t know what to do! But why should you give away your nuts? They didn’t climb that tree to yank them from the branches. Perhaps they don’t have your scampering ability. Perhaps the tree liked you better. Either way, they’re your damn nuts, you shouldn’t have to make excuses.
Now if nuts represent success or self-worth in the human world we’ve been trying to create (you know the one with ‘gender equality’?) there should be nuts for everyone, and we shouldn’t have to get them from men, so to speak. Even though we know they have them!
What we really need, is to stop fighting with each other over the nuts. Instead, we should all collectively attack the tree together.
Bottom line: As women, we need to stop fighting over the scraps that are left to us by those in power. Jealousy over looks is only a symptom of everything else we still do not have, one of which is the ability to shed beauty and body image as all-powerful dictators in our lives.
It is so easy to forget who the real enemies are, and thus we cannibalize ourselves on the way to what we hope is a better life, even if only in the form of vicious shit-talking to alleviate our fleeting anger at what ‘Miss Thang’ represents to us in the world. She is not the one to blame, unless of course she really did something horrible to you. But then you might ask yourself, Was she horrible to me because… of this exact issue we’re talking about? Is she fearfully scrambling for beauty commodity in herself and projecting it outward? Like the rest of us are grappling with in some form every day?
On the flip side, having perceived good looks can drag a woman down in ways that are similarly unfair and unearned, namely when other women do their best to sabotage her progress, her job, her advancement, and her happiness based on jealousy of her collective resources or perceived ability to acquire *nuts* as it were.
When women can finally relegate beauty to a fun life expression, rather than a prerequisite of success, it might be safe to say that we will see less tension between our sisters. I would like to think that when women occupy enough power positions in every sphere, we will no longer question where our real worth lies, at which point we might see an end of the extreme jealousy trend between women as we know it.
So let’s pretend that when we as a gendered group achieve more consistent success equaling men, we will treat each other differently indeed. Imagine that we will even help each other more. We can even start now, as it would surely support the cause if women helped other women advance for a change. Or at the very least, we can try our best to disparage upon each other less (tempting as it is). Because one fine day, beauty will not be our unwitting default scapegoat for why we aren’t successful or happy.
To some degree, there may always be a form of tension between everybody, women and men, with or without the commodity of beauty playing a role. But I think we all can agree that the world would still be a much better place, even if fraught with endless problems to resolve, if women were nicer to each other.
A Personalized Matchmaking Service: The Go-to Partner to Finding Love in the Modern Age What is a matchmaker? What are the benefits to using a dating service? It can be very time-consuming looking for a person that you can love on your own. Even with our family and friends playing Cupid, finding a love partner can still be so elusive. It’s easy, so why not give it a try. But don’t blame yourself. You are not the cause. Stay positive. It’s not you doing anything wrong. You just haven’t met the right person.
Study: My Understanding of Tips
Sometimes, we look at all the wrong place, but not where we should. Nightclubs and bars are probably not the ideal place to find your future mate. You may be relying on luck or God’s providence to point you to the future love of your life. Yes, accident do happen, but it’s really better if you will help make something to happen.
5 Key Takeaways on the Road to Dominating Matchmakers
Many police reports warn against the likelihood of encountering criminal elements who are out to prey on unsuspecting people like you. The guy or gal could be someone you really don’t want to be with – even someone who is out only to take advantage of a lonely soul like you, to prey on you, exploit you, take your money, steal your heart and then leave you high and dry. So use your common sense at all times and find out more about your date before you place your complete trust in him. Do probe and question before you decide whether to continue your relationship or to quickly cut your loss and move away. A date is the opportunity for you to determine if you are a good match or if you should look for another. Matchmakers are not emotionally involved, hence they are able to more intelligently make the right suggestions to you. The service first needs to know all about you, who you are, what you do, what you like and don’t like, and the kind of person you are looking for. All that really matters. Are you looking for a long-term relationship or a one-night-stand? Do you want to have children and how many? The matchmaker asks you and your prospective date all these questions so you don’t have to. Everything important is considered. No mistakes but only the true facts. So you will likely end up with the best possible match. All your life, you have gone about your business your own way, so speaking to an impersonal matchmaker about deeply personal matters might feel a little uncomfortable. But the help of a professional skilled in the art of finding and pairing people with compatible needs and wants can work to your best advantage. Not personally involved, and usually computerized, the results and suggestions generated are usually more logical and reasonable. Over the years, personalized matchmaking services have enjoyed tremendous and this success is expected to continue. If you are still hesitant to try a similar service, you might take a trip to your library or bookstore. Look for books that discuss what you may expect if you should decide to avail of the services of a matchmaker. You will find that today, it is not uncommon for many mature and single professionals, especially those 30 and older, who are too busy with their careers and other activities to avail of the services of a reputable matchmaker that they can trust. While their dating services quietly works in the background to find their suitable mates, they, themselves, are able to attend to their work, undisturbed. Dating service is here to stay.
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How To Choose The Best Wedding Reception Venue Making decisions for wedding details can sometimes get maddening. So to make it a bit easier for you, we’ve listed the things you need to look into when you’re choosing wedding reception venues. Room Size This one’s pretty obvious but ensure the room provides enough space to accommodate the number of guests you have. It might seem enormous when it’s bare and empty, but before you say yes to it, visualize it being filled with chairs and tables, having a dance floor, a buffet, a bar, a band or DJ set up – will it be able to hold all of these and still provide enough elbow room?
How I Became An Expert on Events
How’s The Lighting?
Learning The Secrets About Receptions
Lighting is important since it can make or break the mood you want your wedding reception venue to attain. If you’re going to have daytime wedding, make sure the hall has enough windows. And if it’s going to be an evening celebration, make sure the hall will have perfect lighting controls for entrances, dinner, and dancing. Does It Have A Nice View? What will your guests see once the walk into your wedding reception venue? Whether it’s your city skyline, stunning mountain views, magnificent sunset on a beach, exceptional wedding reception venues are always a bonus. If there’s no view, just make sure the wedding reception venue has impressive d?cor or architecture. The Right Colors This is important especially if you’re aiming for a particular theme or color palette for your wedding reception. Of course, the wedding reception venue doesn’t necessarily need to possess the same exact colors are the color palette you have in mind, but the curtains, walls, carpets, and chairs, shouldn’t go against your party’s theme or mood. For example, choose a wedding reception venue with pastel colors or floral motifs if you are aiming for a spring themed wedding. For a more classy, sophisticated wedding, put elegance on top of your list – a room done in black, white, and/or neutrals. Suitable Acoustics You don’t want a place that’s too echoey – it’s not going to help the band, or your guests won’t be able to hear one another when talking. A tile or wood floor will magnify sounds while thick drapes and carpets will help muffle them. Is There Enough Parking Space? It’s important for the wedding reception venue to have a lot of parking space. Will It Have Eating, Drinking and Partying Spots? Choose a wedding reception venue with suitable spots for eating, drinking, socializing, and dancing. You can’t have a small space which can easily get cramped. Is It Private Enough? You want a private and secure location – you don’t want wedding crashers right? If you’re okay with passersby and strangers offering your good wishes – then you can choose a beach, park, or botanical garden location. But if you really want it exclusive, opt for a gallery or restaurant.
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
(London, UK)—ParentsNeed, a premier website that provides tips and guides related to parenting at every stage of life, has recently announced the relaunch of their website with a new design as well as a new focus. According to the site’s owners, ParentsNeed.com now better reflects their core values and helps to shift the focus of their work back to what really matters – parents and their concerns. In addition to the parenting guides they provide, the site also provides unbiased, in-depth reviews on many of the top baby products on the market.
Lisa Hayden, a representative of ParentsNeed, commented “It would be a difficult task to find anyone who would call parenting an easy job. From getting pregnant to raising high-schoolers, being a parent can be a tough job for which there is often very little guidance and support. This is why we launched Parents Need in the first place and the reason why we have redesigned and relaunched this new site. Our focus is truly on helping parents succeed, and the new site is a better reflection of that core value. We want parents to know that they don’t have to feel alone and that we’re here to help them through every stage of their child’s life.”
The ParentsNeed website now features a straightforward design with an easy flow that helps parents effortlessly find the information they need. The site includes articles and guides in categories that reflect every stage of parenting as well as address important concerns that often arise during those life stages. There are special sections of the website for pregnancy and fertility tips, helpful articles on parenting principles, and comprehensive reviews on top products that will help parents better enjoy the days they have with their kids.
As Hayden goes on to say, “The ParentsNeed team has worked hard on the relaunch in order to put the focus back where it needs to be – on parents. We see it as our mission to provide them with reliable resources to get through even their toughest days. Working together, we can provide support as parents continue to navigate what can be an overwhelming but still very rewarding experience for both themselves and their children.”
ParentsNeed is a website dedicated to babies, parenting, pregnancy, kids, teens, and guides and reviews to make parenting more enjoyable.
In a perfect world, each person we interact with would be nice, kind, considerate, mindful, generous, and more. They would get our jokes and we would get their’s. We would all thrive in a convivial atmosphere where no one was ever cross, upset, or maligned.
However, we don’t live in a perfect world. Some people drive us crazy, and we (admittedly) drive a few mad as well. Those we dislike are inconsiderate, rushed, malign our character, question our motives, or just don’t get our jokes at all — but expect us to laugh at all their’s.
You might wonder whether it is possible to be fair to someone who ruffles you all the time, or someone you’d rather avoid eating lunch with. You might wonder if you should learn to like every person you meet.
According to Robert Sutton (a professor of management science at Stanford University), it’s neither possible — nor even ideal — to build a team comprised entirely of people you’d invite to a backyard barbecue.
That’s why smart people make the most out of people they don’t like. Here’s how they do it.
1. They accept that they are not going to like everyone.
Sometimes we get caught in the trap of thinking that we are nice people. We think that we are going to like everyone we interact with — even when that’s not going to happen. It’s inevitable you will encounter difficult people who oppose what you think. Smart people know this. They also recognize that conflicts or disagreements are a result of differences in values.
That person you don’t like is not intrinsically a bad human. The reason you don’t get along is because you have different values, and that difference creates judgment. Once you accept that not everyone will like you, and you won’t like everyone because of a difference in values, the realization can take the emotion out of the situation. That may even result in getting along better by agreeing to disagree.
2. They bear with (not ignore or dismiss) those they don’t like.
Sure, you may cringe at his constant criticism, grit your teeth at her lousy jokes, or shake your head at the way he hovers around her all the time, but feeling less than affectionate to someone might not be the worst thing. “From a performance standpoint, liking the people you manage too much is a bigger problem than liking them too little,” says Sutton.
“You need people who have different points of view and aren’t afraid to argue,” Sutton adds. “They are the kind of people who stop the organization from doing stupid things.” It may not be easy, but bear with them. It is often those who challenge or provoke us that prompt us to new insights and help propel the group to success. Remember, you are not perfect either, yet people still tolerate you.
3. They treat those they don’t like with civility.
Whatever your feelings are for someone, that person will be highly attuned to your attitude and behavior, and will likely reflect it back to you. If you are rude to them, they will likely throw away all decorum and be rude to you too. The onus; therefore, is on you to remain fair, impartial, and composed.
“Cultivating a diplomatic poker face is important. You need to be able to come across as professional and positive,” says Ben Dattner, an organizational psychologist and author of The Blame Game. This way you won’t stoop to their level or be sucked into acting the way they do.
4. They check their own expectations.
It’s not uncommon for people to have unrealistic expectations about others. We may expect others to act exactly as we would, or say the things that we might say in a certain situation. However, that’s not realistic. “People have ingrained personality traits that are going to largely determine how they react,” says Alan A. Cavaiola, PhD (psychology professor at Monmouth University in West Long Branch, New Jersey). “Expecting others to do as you would do is setting yourself up for disappointment and frustration.”
If a person causes you to feel exactly the same way every time, adjust your expectations appropriately. This way you’ll be psychologically prepared and their behavior will not catch you by surprise. Smart people do this all the time. They’re not always surprised by a dis-likable person’s behavior.
5. They turn inwards and focus on themselves.
No matter what you try, some people can still really get under our skin. It’s important that you learn how to handle your frustration when dealing with someone who annoys you. Instead of thinking about how irritating that person is, focus on why you are reacting the way you are. Sometimes what we don’t like in others is frequently what we don’t like in ourselves. Besides, they didn’t create the button, they’re only pushing it.
Pinpoint the triggers that might be complicating your feelings. You may then be able to anticipate, soften, or even alter your reaction. Remember: it’s easier to change your perceptions, attitude, and behavior than to ask someone to be a different kind of person.
6. They pause and take a deep breath.
Some personality characteristics may always set you off, says Kathleen Bartle (a California-based conflict consultant). Maybe it’s the colleague who regularly misses deadlines, or the guy who tells off-color jokes. Take a look at what sets you off and who’s pushing your buttons. That way, Bartle says, you can prepare for when it happens again.
According to her, “If you can pause and get a grip on your adrenaline pump and go to the intellectual part of your brain, you’ll be better able to have a conversation and to skip over the judgment.” A deep breath and one big step back can also help to calm you down and protect you from overreaction, thereby allowing you to proceed with a slightly more open mind and heart.
7. They voice their own needs.
If certain people constantly tick you off, calmly let them know that their manner of behavior or communication style is a problem for you. Avoid accusatory language and instead try the “When you . . . I feel . . .” formula. For example, Cacaiola advises you to tell that person, “When you cut me off in meetings, I feel like you don’t value my contributions.” Then, take a moment and wait for their response.
You may find that the other person didn’t realize you weren’t finished speaking, or your colleague was so excited about your idea that she enthusiastically jumped into the conversation.
8. They allow space between them.
If all else fails, smart people allow space between themselves and those they don’t like. Excuse yourself and go on your way. If at work, move to another room or sit at the other end of the conference table. With a bit of distance, perspective, and empathy, you may be able to come back and interact both with those people you like and those you don’t like as if unfazed.
Of course, everything would be easier if we could wish people we don’t like away. Too bad we all know that’s not how life works.
Why an Online Wedding Registry Will Provide Unmistakable Benefits Couples who are getting married certainly might feel the joy and excitement of the commencement of their lives together and may have in their minds a great many different things. For example, couples need to consider the venue of their wedding as well as the themes, guests, food, transportation, and so many other things. Another thing that you might want to plan is a list of the gifts that you and your spouse want to receive – it is a common practice for people today to come up with a registry, or wish list, informing guests of the things which they want to receive on their wedding day. If you want to have an online registry for your wedding, you will definitely benefit so many good things, as online registries allow you to enter all the things that you want to receive as well as aid guests to pick what they want to buy and give to you on your special day. Couples who decide to use an online registry will definitely be able to benefit a lot of wonderful things. A couple who decides to use an online wedding registry will benefit, first of all, wonderful convenience both for themselves and for their guests. It is definitely easy to put together a page filled with different items that you and your spouse want to receive – no matter what the brand or price of these items, you can put them together on a page that your guests can access. Another wonderful thought is that the guests of the couple can also save time and gain convenience, as there is nothing easier to navigate than an online registry. Another benefit that can be enjoyed when couples use online registry is that these registries are filled with beautiful assortments all in one place. Good online registry sites have so many brands and so many items, and couples will definitely find just what they are looking for.
3 Registries Tips from Someone With Experience
Delivery is also another benefit of using an online registry site – when your guests purchase items at the page you have set up, these items will be delivered quickly and without hassle. This will assure you that your guests will achieve wonderful convenience because of the plan you have employed for your gifts. When all has been said, it is clear to see that couples who choose to use an online registry site for their wedding will gain many wonderful things.If You Think You Get Presents, Then This Might Change Your Mind
Ways to Find Wedding Venues One of the most important thing in planning a wedding ceremony is the venue or reception of the wedding because from deciding the venue, this is where the suppliers or vendors, decors, gowns and suites and your budget as well will be based on dependent on. There are different things or tips that you need to consider also in choosing a wedding venue and these tips will help you consider on what kind of venue to choose or to select for your wedding ceremony. The first thing that you have to consider as a couple is the number of your guests or visitors that you would like to invite for your special day so that you would know how small or how big will be your venue. The wedding venue or reception ahs different prices based on the size and on the location as well but the couple must decide before hand on the amount of money or budget they are willing to spend to be able to decide. Searching the wedding venue over the internet is a big help for you because you can see various reviews and testimonials of past wedded couples on the wedding venues that they have been to in the past and their reviews are posted on blog sites. The couple must be able to decide on what date the wedding will be held so that they can find the available venues for their wedding during that time or during that day.
What Has Changed Recently With Venues?
It is important for you to contact the person in charge of the venue first because this is to determine if the wedding venue is still available on your preferred dates because there are many wedding events that are happening all through out the year. You will have to choose avenue based on the kind of theme or ambiance that you would like to have in your wedding like if you want a beach wedding or a garden wedding or other kind of theme that you prefer.
Study: My Understanding of Receptions
You must also decide or choose on the colors after you have decided on the venue because this will or must also match the venue that you have chosen so that the colors will blend with the venue and the decors as well when you get the venue. To save money on wedding decors, you may want to look or to search for a wedding venue that has natural decors such as beautiful landscapes like gardens, plants and flowers to enhance the ambiance of your wedding.
Wedding Receptions: What Things You Should Know Looking for a wedding reception is what you should do especially if you are going to arrange the marriage vows soon. It is important for you to think about looking for people who will join your wedding and eventually be invited in the wedding reception. Having a reception is your way of thanking the people for attending your marriage ceremonies and you want to show your gratitude by offering them something in the reception venue. You will be happy to share the best wedding reception to accommodate the needs of your relatives and friends who will be coming to the area soon. It is just awesome to pick the right wedding reception immediately. You should never do it a few days before the actual wedding day because you will surely cram. What you have to do this time is to simply check the yellow book about available wedding reception centres. You will find a lot of them and you will even be amazed how they conduct their services. You need to set some criteria to make things happen. If you want to arrange the stuffs, you can certainly do it in the right wedding reception. If there is a wedding reception that can provide you a lot of services, you will surely like to get them. Having a wide space is what you need to look for in a wedding reception and you will surely never regret it. It is important for you to think about getting a big space for having a small space does not guarantee convenience among all people attending the reception. You have to get a venue reception which has a space that is proportionate to the size of the guests that you have invited. If the team can provide good entertainment, choose them and you will never go wrong. It is interesting to choose a band to perform because you want sense of entertainment to all the guests attending the reception.
The Essential Laws of Events Explained
Aside from entertainment, it is also wonderful when you think of decorations and styles. They have staff to do it for you depending on what you like. You also want to find a wedding reception company that caters food as well so that you will no longer find a restaurant to do it for you. You have to take all the services that the wedding reception company can offer as long as they are relevant to your wedding. Ask for the costs of services for it is also very important to be known.Weddings: 10 Mistakes that Most People Make
Preserve Your Marriage through Marriage Counseling Marriage is a sacred commitment. Marriage is not something that you simply dispose of when you could not make it work for yourself. When you see you marriage starting to fail, you should try your best at improving it instead of giving in to ending it. Marriage couples who face severe crisis in their relationship either try fix it by seeking the help of a marriage counselor, or end it by going to a divorce lawyer. If one of the partners still want to continue and give it another chance, then do not hesitate to call on a marriage counselor. Professional counseling becomes imperative if after trying to fix it, it has only become worse. When children are involved, it is best to approach a professional family counselor for help and for the sake of you children who are the helpless victims in these situations. Without intervention, abuse is marriage is harmful but with marriage counselors it can be corrected. You can call marriage counselors relationship physicians or safety nets for those spouses who are victims of abuse. Marriage counselors can even tackle problems of marital infidelity. Making the marriage normal again is the goals of marital therapists. This is different from divorce attorneys whose goal is mainly to separate the couple and get the most out of it. What the legal system does is to provide an easy way out for conflicting couples instead of helping them stay within the marriage bond. The marriage institution is a sacred institution that must be given respect by all men. Fixing their marital problems must be a priority to husbands and wives. With the help of a marriage counselor, couples are encouraged to communicate their thoughts to each other openly in a safe environment. In marriage counseling, there is no place for abusive arguing but instead they are helped to compromise and solve their own problems. All human beings want to success but it may be a difficult task to succeed in marriage. Obstacles need to be faced and hurdled for one to succeed. The possible causes of marriage are varied and the list goes on and one. When couples try to solve their problems, they cannot see any solution to it. Professional counseling is their last resort. Making the decision to see a counselor is a first step forward. There are things you need to know when you go for counseling. You cannot resolve you problem if you do not cooperate with the therapist. Your counselor will answer all the questions you may have about the process. Your strengths and you weaknesses will be determine and improved on for your good.
Learning The “Secrets” of Counseling
Research your options when looking for a marriage counselor. Do not just look in the phone book for one. you may ask your physician, a friend or minister to suggest someone qualified in marriage counseling.Lessons Learned from Years with Counseling
Using a Free Dating Website Let us look at the primary needs of a person. These basic needs are clothes, food and shelter. But aside from these needs man also has the need for love and companionship. That is why people desire a partner in life. There are various methods by which a person can meet up and have a partner. The most basic among these is getting a date. A date is what you call it when a man and woman gets together for romance. In such a scenario, it is the guy who requests for a date from the girl. Although in some cases there are women who do the opposite. Still it is safe to say that in most cases it is the men who are doing the asking out. Well do you know the ways men can ask women out? There are various ways available to men for being able to do that. Let’s look at some of these ways. Well one of the most common ways is when men see a woman that they like in a bar. Then they go over to her and talk to her and ask her out on a date. This could also happen at work. They can simply ask out the woman they like among their colleagues.
5 Lessons Learned: Services
These are the usual methods of asking a girl out on a date. There is another one though that boomed with the advent of the Internet. This method involves the use of the dating website. There are dating websites which charge their customers. The charge may be monthly or annually. However there are websites that have no charges. This means there is no need to pay anything in order to use the website.
What Do You Know About Dating
There is a good thing about using such service. These websites make it possible for members to have profiles that can be viewed by anyone there. One of the kind of information that you can see there is basic information. You will also see the interests and hobbies of a person there. These can all be seen in your profile. Now men can choose women whose profiles appear interesting to them. For example they will choose the woman who shares the same hobby with them. Women can also do the same with men. If based on the profile she does not like him then she can so no. That is the advantage of seeing the profiles in these dating websites. Now you can easily find these free dating websites online. All you need to do is just type this phrase in the search box and it will appear immediately. But choose one that has good reviews from the customers who used them.
Summer is rapidly approaching. You know you need to search for something for the children to do. Last summertime was difficult. The teenage babysitter ran your food costs up and instead of engaging with your kids, she gave them free reign of the television set and electronic products. It’s a wonder the youngsters failed to turn to mush for the period of those days. It really is terrific to get downtime and be itinerary free from time to time. It can be also critical that kids have a good timetable, physical activity, and have interaction in events along with his or her friends. It isn’t really a great idea to permit kids be idle for the summer season. There are many great programs that could keep all of them amused, help them learn completely new abilities, and also have them within a safe and sound site whenever you are not with them.
A fantastic summer vacation thought pertaining to child activities is a gymnastics group. Summer season recreation like this are actually pointed out online http://optimisticmommy.com/. This particular activity not merely will make your youngster occupied throughout the summer vacation, but it will give them the opportunity to learn a great skill set. Gymnastics is an excellent activity which teaches self-awareness, working together, plus promotes athleticism. Inside of a camp location which includes one shown at optimisticmommy.com, a young child can easily get involved in an enjoyable environment. They’re going to learn on amazing related equipment by certified instructors, get involved in art assignments, participate in team strengthening techniques and also have sufficient time for free play. This can be one week when certainly do not need to worry about just what your children are going to do.
A genuinely great benefit of sending young children to a summer vacation camp is definitely the direct exposure these individuals receive of the brand-new as well as diverse. Summer is a really good time to test completely new interests as well as sports. There are lots of kinds of camps listed at www.optimisticmommy.com/. From art work to cooking food to karate to gymnastics- your son or daughter might have his or her pick of a brand-new and interesting adventure. One never is aware of when trying new stuff may develop into a great lifetime commitment. Once summer season is all over it could be excellent if your kid really wants to keep on with their the summer interest. In the matter of gymnastics, the range of flexibility plus self-discipline can remain with these individuals for life. How wonderful it might be if all fathers and mothers would likely offer their young children the opportunity to experience interesting things. Summer vacation is a wonderful period to commence.